Last night my “friends” begged me to go out and reluctantly I did. Since they love to see me get shitfaced and laugh at me they got me super wasted. White girl Wasted. Henson Wasted. Apparently I threw up and pissed myself. I never throw up so they must have gotten me pretty fucked up. Urinating yourself also clearly means you are fucked up.
I just sobered up about 20 minutes ago. I have a Biochemistry test tommorow. It will be a hard test. Harder now that I kinda forgot some of the shit I memorized yesterday because I got owned by Vodka last night. FML
For the rest of you on tumblr, carry on with your lives -___-
So my first “Intro to Biochemistry” test is on Monday. I’m kinda nervous considering how I did on my Organic chemistry final. I think I mentioned that I failed it on here but I had an A going in so the teacher was merciful and granted me a B.
I also take the TEAS test for nursing school monday. I hear it’s like the SAT, but still makes me nervous since I have to do good. Decisions are coming to a close though. Once I take the TEAS test my application for nursing school will be basically complete, and I wait to hear back from Loma Linda University. I only have 2 more weeks of this class as well and then I’m done with my intro-chem series and I find out the chances of me getting my Visa in time for Spain.
So ya…. there’s a fork in my path and soon I found out which way I go. Not all to interesting for the rest of you but scary stuff for me haha.
I just saw a friend of mine on facebook post pictures of him in a white labcoat, which means he got accepted to medical school. It made me really happy to see it. I was happy for him, and I just kept picturing myself standing next to him. I feel good in a labcoat. Problem is I don’t like the sciences. I’m just doing them. I’m so sick of chemistry right now it’s disgusting. I haven’t studied for my final tommorow because I just wanna be done with this shit and I still have 3 more weeks.
But it pains me to watch him accomplish his one and only goal. So many people have told me I should do pre-med. So many have put faith in me to do it and I haven’t because I’m afraid. I’m afraid of all the science and work that goes into it. The worst things is I don’t have a “passion” for any of this shit. How can I embark on journey chest deep in sciences that I don’t even really care for.
Between seeing him in a labcoat and seeing a motivational picture I posted earlier talking about how even brave creatures face their fears it just all pisses me off. There’s no point in facing this fear if I don’t love it but I don’t know what I want. This has been eating away at me for quite some time now. Idk even know how to describe it anymore. It’s just the fear that you’re not doing all that you can, your full potential, but at the same time you don’t know what you want to do but the feeling still lingers in the back of your mind that you should be standing next to him, you should be doing what others see in you even though you’re afraid.
I just need to know. I’d do anything to know right now. It tortures me to no end to not know…and I don’t know how to find out.
My family has a history of mental illness and obesity.
My mother has Major depression, and My aunt had Manic depression. One of my uncles may have depression but refuses to see a psychiatrist.
My mother has an enlarged heart wall, my grandma had an enlarged heart, and my aunt died of a Massive heart attack.
I was born and raised Seventh-Day Adventist, went to SDA schools my entire life, and was baptized when I was 12. I don’t technically practice it, but I do still believe in some stuff.
Today I went to the Greyhound Bus station to catch a ride to Victorville,Ca where my uncle’s prison is located. I bought my ticket a week ago. The website said to show up an hour early because they didn’t reserve spots on the bus, even though I had bought the ticket in advance. I caught a ride from a friend and arrived half an hour early. after the bus showed up 15 minutes late, the driver came into the station and said he had room for 8.
I figured it would be alright since I saw about 8 of us in line. I went outside and he said they had no more room……It was just me an an older black guy standing there kinda pissed off. The older guy says “I’m from Compton, LA and I’ve been here since noon (it’s virtually 4’ Oclock now). I have no ride, where am I supposed to stay. This is ridiculous!!?” The driver looks at both of us and says “I have one more seat, which one of you came first?” Obviously the older fellow, and with that I walked back into the station pretty upset. The lady then told me that they had no further rides to victorville CA.
I only see my uncle once a year because of the distance, and it looks as though I won’t be seeing him this year.
Moral of the story…..Fuck Greyhound’s Ratchet ass bus system. Stick with your city transportation or amtrack.
Okay so I just posted about why I don’t have “Female Friends”. But many women insist that it is possible. I don’t doubt it, I just think most of the time it’s not the case. That being said Girls can get friendzoned to. Friendzone is really just about who’s NOT ATTRACTED to who. If you are meeting all her requirements for a bestfriend and she’s not with you that’s probably the case. And the same goes for girls lol.
Anyway some girls still wonder why guys can’t accept being friends. I couldn’t really tell you but I will tell you what blurs the lines of friendship for ME even though I might not Say it aloud.
Earlier i reblogged a post where a woman was saying that nice guys shouldn’t expect anything (i.e sex or a relationship) just for being nice. I completely agree and mentioned kindness as something to be given without reward. I also said I would comment on male/female relationships because sometimes women unintentionally lead guys on or give them false hope.
It’s just that, YES, Bolin was nice, adorable, and he and Korra seemed perfectly compatible.
IT’S JUST THAT ATTRACTION
IT’S A FUNNY THING
YOU CAN’T FORCE IT
Just because you’re ‘nice’ to someone, doesn’t automatically mean that said person HAS TO feel attraction to you. That’s the reason why I respect Bolin so much. Because after all that heartbreak and everything, HE UNDERSTOOD THAT KORRA DID NOT HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM, REGARDLESS OF HOW MUCH FUN THEY HAD.
BEING NICE SHOULD COME AUTOMATICALLY, NOT JUST TO GET SOME. FUCKING A’.
When I get on Facebook, or some other pathetic media outlet, I ALWAYS SEE THE ‘HEY GIRLS, LOOK AT YOUR FRIEND ZONES, YOU MIGHT FIND SOMETHING.’
CAUSE I’M LIKE, WELL WHAT IF A GIRL FALLS FOR YOU HEAD OVER HEELS, AND YOU DON’T FEEL THE SAME WAY? HMM? SO SHH.
ATTRACTION CAN’T BE FORCED.
BEING NICE DOESN’T EQUAL FREE SEX.
I couldn’t agree more. The saying “kindness is weakness” is one I find to be true. You don’t see the nice guy at the office getting a promotion. He’ll be getting cups of coffee for the boss forever. I research stuff from time to time, mostly sociology.
I was looking at male/female dynamics and they mentioned that american culture indirectly teaches males that they’re entitled to sex, and the rape statistics for college campuses is pretty scary. The whole friendzone argument kinda suggests that though doesn’t it? I was nice to you, we are friends, sexy time now?
No, lol. Sex isn’t currency. You can’t just trade kindness for sex or any other reward in life. In it’s purest form kindness is simply given out of a humility and repsect for your fellow man/woman. If you want the girl cut through the games and force an ultimatimatum. Yes…or No. Anything else is a waste of time and honestly the “Nice Guy” approach is the Hail mary of spitting game. “I’ll just be nice to her and hope she falls for me” is weak.
On the flip side team “niceguy” is a tough one to be on (18 years…trust me I know) and Some women don’t understand male logic. I think I’ll write a post on that today. Everyone talks about what women want and how guys just think with their dicks. I’d say I think with my dick like 70% lol, but I’m speaking figuratively so don’t take that as a literal number. Some women unintentionally blur the friendzone because they don’t get male friendships and why they’re different from male/female friendships.
If you hate him you can have your action figures kick his ass.
If you love him you can have him kick Darth Vader’s ass.
BEST TOY EVER!!!!
When you come to the end of a long day, and you realize you should be having a blast because it’s summer but you’re not……
I only have 5 living relatives. My uncle in prison, My uncle and cousin back in my hometown, my Mom, and my Dad.
No.. nothing’s “meant to be.” We either want it enough to make it happen, or we don’t.
Hmm….I don’t know, most of the time I feel this way, but sometimes I get the feeling something is going on. A lot of times in my life I’ll just say I’ll let it work itself out…and it does. Doesn’t that mean something? Not neccesarily, because as human beings we prescribe meaning to just about anything. I could have sworn my calculator was Satan last night and even cursed at it. We love to give meaning to that which has none.
But sometimes I feel like fate exists. Like when money that I need appears out of the blue or I am one of 2 people shoved through my study abroad program while everyone else is turned down. When it comes to people though I tend to lose faith in fate. People can choose whatever they want to do. Fathers can choose to stay or leave, Mothers can choose to nurture or abandon, and women/men can be so different, so varied, so unique that it’s funny to think 2 people ever stay together for very long.
Then there’s those with “Bad fate”. Those worry me. Those who suffer and though we suggest as you did that they “Make things happen” there is simply nothing they can do. No matter how hard they chase the woman/man of their dreams their feelings will never be reciprocated and no matter how hard they work to escape poverty, it will remain their prison from now until they perish. Then I begin to agree with you that nothing is meant to be and Everything happens for no reason at all